mario robert

Vancouver, Washington, United States

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SURVIVING A CACOPHONOUS CATASTROPHE AND A TWISTED METAL VAGINA

OK...First things last...My name is Mario Robert III...ex-comic book geek 122 moons ago...After getting into a fight with a car...I now spit and shit blood. Five of us lucky drunk bastards flew off a cliff and the car tumbled and landed upside down, with the front facing up the hill...I was sitting in the back passenger side and got shot out the back window... feet first... But only halfway. My face and neck were stuck in the car and the trunk was on my chest. I was in shock so I did not remember the CACOPHONOUS CATASTROPHE that had just transpired seconds ago. I thought my bedroom had collapsed on top of me because the car was filled up with smoke and had red interior like my red carpet. I tried wiggling to get free but was frozen by the weight of the four door Chrysler. Panic hit me for a second when an unrecognizable voice told me..."PEACE"...."CALM"...and then I heard my friends screaming my name...MARIO??!!... They thought I was dead. My legs were sticking out from under the car like the freakin Wicked Witch of the West. They picked up the car a couple of inches, enough to pull me out. It was my Re-Birth through a TWISTED METAL VAGINA.

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